Ranking Ten Of Vybz Kartel’s Most Lyrical Verses

When it comes on to wit, lyricism and talent, there are only a handful of Dancehall artists – dead or alive – that can be mentioned in the same breath as Adidja Palmer, the Portmore native more popularly known as Vybz Kartel.

Bar for bar, Kartel is arguably the best Dancehall that has ever seen, and here, we highlight and explore some of his most lyrically daring, entertaining, and downright impressive alien-like maneuvering of the English language on a track – all of which have earned him the indisputable moniker of ‘Di Teacha.’

10. Tek Buddy Gyal

This first verse of the 2004 hit song is, for all its colourful imagery, a rather honest and insightful take on the often-transactional nature of sex, consistent with popular themes of the time it was released. It takes surgery-like precision to inject such complex themes into a song without the audience even noticing, and that’s precisely what Mr. Palmer did.

“Four back shot that a fi di what not
Three lizard lap, that a fi di door and di grill and di padlock
Gi me five siddung pan it
fi di fridge and di blender pan di fridge top
Eh, gwaan bad fi di Louis Vuitton bag
Tek rod fi di goods from Seprod
Plus di ceramic tiles and di gold plate door knob
That a guh cause yuh a bl** j*b”

Year: 2004
Album: More Up 2 Di Time
Riddim: Tunda Clap
Producer(s): Delano Thomas & Andre Saunders & Michael Jarrett

9. U Nuh Have A Phone (Hello Moto)

Miphone, Cingular, Vodafone and Hello Moto are not only brands you may have forgotten (partly because some of them no longer exist), but they were vibrant references in local pop culture at the time, primarily because this song was a driving force behind their popularity in Jamaica at the time.

“Please call me
One of the cellular trends
But mi pack Voda phone fi British gems
Wendy tell you three friends
Call mi Miphone fi di free f@#k pon weekend
No care if Tracy man bringle or
Him divorce and single har
Call mi Cingular fi something tough like Burglar bar
Mi cable mek she wireless star.”

Year: 2006
Album: J.M.T
Riddim: Hello Moto

8. Clarks with Popcaan and Gaza Slim

Perhaps one of his most iconic verses, the entire song inspired a movement that swept across Jamaica and some spaces in North America. Clarks were either being sold out, stolen, too expensive or got the ‘made-in-China’ treatment, in large part due to the demand this song generated for the UK-based brand, even though the brand’s Marketing Director at the time, Michael Borge, doubted the song’s impact on the brand’s increased sales.

“Mi nuh love crepe, enuh, Clarks mi prefer
Clarks fi di leather, yeah, Clarks fi di fur
Clarks fi di summer, Clarks fi di winter
Clarks fi di sun, Clarks fi di water
Mi nuh wear Nautica (No), dat ah fi sailo
Polo fi Tiger, him ah di golfer
Di new Wallabees hotter dan sulfur
Mi pattern mi daddy from mi was a youngster”

Year: 2010
Album: Pon Di Gaza 2.0
Riddim: Mad Collab
Producer(s): ZJ Chrome

7. Gyal A Weh Do You with Sheba

Fun fact: This song – a spicy dialogue between two problematic partners – has Vybz Kartel credited as its sole writer, which means he singlehandedly crafted that dramatic conversation.

“Weh yuh did deh from mornin’?
Round a di studio recording}
A nuh dat Notnice seh when mi call him
Suh mi kno a lie yuh a tell
A from last week Notnice deh a foreign
Yuh get weh right deh so but yuh can’t win
A which gyal mi hear yuh carry guh country
Because mi know seh yuh never did guh fi do nuh farming
A nuh my girl dat, never
She name Antoinette and she deh wid mi bredda
Anything a anything, wateva wateva
Mi a guh out likkle more wid mi cousin name Trevor
But mi never dis yuh!
Yes yuh dis mi
Mek gyal a throw word a mek mischief
Mi a guh teach yuh di wickedest lesson inna history
Nuh matter weh mi tell yuh, yuh nuh believe but…”

Year: 2010
Album: Pon Di Gaza 2.0
Riddim: England Town
Producer(s): NotNice

6. Bicycle

No party was ever complete without this song playing at some point.

“Yuh know how fi mek mi sweat
Balance pon yuh head like yuh waan bruk yuh neck (hmmmmm)
Ah some hard fuck yuh get
Dat 12 inch c&#ky ya wi mark yu fi death (hmmm)
Mek sure seh yuh waan weh yuh get
Wen yuh done yuh feel it with every walk weh yuh mek (ahhhh)
Yuh waan pull it like cigarette, yes
When yuh done, Listerine get it offa yu breath
Sex education class dis
Nuff ah dem get dismiss
My school a nuh funny business
Nuff ah dem shock wen Teacha guh tell dem dis
Mi waan fi squeeze yu two breast like di brakes dem pon di BMX or di 10 speed
And, den yuh siddung inna saddle like race ago dun an yuh tek lead”

Year: 2010
Album: Pon Di Gaza 2.0
Riddim: Tripple Bounce
Producer(s): Stephen ‘Di Genius’ McGregor

5. Summertime

Talk about a summer anthem! Produced by Adde Instrumentals, this track was and has been inescapable since its release, and is a perennial summertime favorite. The “Summertime Riddim,” while first used and made popular by Popcaan’s Ravin, shot to a new stratosphere of success when Vybz Kartel added his Midas touch to it. It’s a song that’s light, festive and fun, and is a testament to the limitless flexibility of the Dancehall great, Kartel.

“Every massive haffi come along
Guh fi yuh sun tan inna di summer sun
If you a bleacher guh back home
Guh fi a umbrella cause di sun a bun
Di hot gyal dem a bring it on
Inna bikini dem inna pretty thong
Yuh nuffi shy gyal bring it come
If you have a fool fool man gi di bun
Portmore me come from enuh
Pretty girl jus a pose like domino
And di thugs dem a rub dem dung enuh
Inna di shade with Street Vybz Rum enuh
Uptown full a fun enuh
ATI, we a guh enuh
Dream Weekend come enuh
Smudge a guh dun enuh”

Year: 2011
Album: The Gaza Don
Riddim: Summertime
Producer(s): Adde Instrumentals

4. Slow Motion

Whether this was a modern spin on the old school art form known as Lovers Rock, Kartel weaved together a timeless piece that showcased his versatility well. It also accomplished something not many songs were able to at the time of its release – cause an upsurge in that slow, rub-a-dub style of dancing that was visibly missing from a lot of mainstream parties.

“Dah one yah name
Peplas crew, jus through we brace up like sweethearts do
Woman mi seh mi want me an me want you
And di way yuh hold mi tight, n’even breeze pass through
A yuh alone mi seh mi nuh seh three nor two
Cause mi know yuh will do anything weh me ask you
So come a mi yard come have mi fi dinner
An inna di morning have mi fi breakfast too
Baby mi love di way yuh whine
Yuh put a smile pon mi face yah gal
Grab on pon mi body and brace yah gal
Mi love when yuh whine up yuh waist yah gal
Baby mi nah go let yuh go
Pimpin deh pon yuh case yah gal
Grab on pon mi body an brace yah gal
Mi love when yuh whine up yuh waist yah gal”

Year: 2009
Album: Reggae Gold 2010
Riddim: Street Bullies
Producer(s): Tony “CD” Kelly

3. Dollar Sign

Another anthem that still holds sway today, Dollar Sign resonated with a lot of Dancehall fans and essentially became the goal post for songs that encouraged self-affirmation and the power of pointed focus. The lyrics reference Don Corleone, the importance of sensible financial management and self-respect throughout the struggle towards financial freedom.

“Low mi
Money me a medz and yuh nah have none fu show me
Thirty million fi a house up a Stoney
Soh me gwaan hustle round a Fadda Romie
Me nah mek, no bwoy ride me like pony
All when mi bruk, rich gyal cya clown me
Yuh mad, me left dat wealthy and lonely
Not even mummy cah talk seh she own me
Me born as a don just Like Corleone
Him teach me seh mi bankbook nuh fi bony
Pocket nuh fi thin cause anuh macaroni
Higha definition like TV a Sony
Money haffi run…”

Year: 2009
Album: Pon Di Gaza
Riddim: Good Life
Producer(s): Liveup Records

2. Fever

It takes an incredible amount of willpower to hear “XOXO” on the Linton White-produced track and not be moved to action, whether that’s dancing or grabbing someone to dance with. We can safely say that the lyrics, track and arrangement here, as well as the worldwide recognition this song has and continues to receive, have made this track a classic.

“When you look back a yuh
A me dat
D********e, puppy whisper
My c***y so hot
It give the fire fever
If yuh caah bruk it off
Hasta La Vista
Gyal haffi have a, pu–y power
Grab it, leggo
‘Quint, lower
Go dung, lover
Go dung, go back
Tattoo, colour
Warm, summer”

Year: 2016
Album: King of the Dancehall
Riddim: –
Producer(s): TJ Records

1. The Lyricist

It’s literally in the name. Vybz Kartel knows who and what he is, and this song was a slap on the wrist to Dancehall artists of the day who mistakenly believed they could challenge him. The Lyricist was a flex through and through; artists either had to pretend this song didn’t exist or straight up ignore it whenever conversations would arise about Dancehall’s ultimate lyricist.So what dem implying?

Di teacha haffi sing line?
DJ nuh inna him mind?
Cork up yuh nose fi di stink rhyme, a di king time
Mi wicked like St. James and Kingston and St. Catherine crime
Roll out wid di shootas fi kill time
No boxers, Calvin Klein
Nuff bwoy waan get me out fi reach di big time
Mi sleep and wake up and dem still trying
You nuh have nuh patience?!
Mash up yuh clock and try fi kill time
But mi a:
Still The Lyricist, vocabulary physicist
Melody Michelangelo weh paint da graphic images
Get a condom fi yuh ears because da tune yah shot like syphilis
Weh di title? Hey, gimmie this!
Empire is di wickedest!
I’m da baller and the manager
Alex Ferguson and Bibby this
Mi stay in front like Genesis, yes
Who waan fi penny this? Guess!
Mi find di metaphors weh Jay-Z dem and Biggie miss
And chaw dem up like Winter Fresh and spit dem out like Wrigley’s
Mi hot, mi touch green grass, make it catch fyah
Some bwoy nuh thugs, mi see through dem like mesh wire
Yes Iyah! Dem license expire
Mi rub dem out like mi Benz tire
Mi meds higher than Angel pon heaven’s wire
Burn dem with the hell’s fire
Wha’ prostitute and virgin have in common? Empire!
Dem waan come inna mi bed fi cool da temper yah
Dem enter yah, dem linger here
Junky gyal, needle and syringe a wear
Christian gyal? Ginger beer
Rasta gyal we injure care

Year: 2011
Album: The Gaza Don
Riddim: –
Producer(s): Rvssian