7 ‘Relation-Tips’ From Wayne Marshall And Tami Chin Mitchell

Since launching their YouTube channel as a response to pandemic mayhem, Tami Chin Mitchell and Wayne Marshall have struck social media gold with their ‘Meet the Mitchells’ brand. Tami seized the moment to bring her neglected blogging dream to life, turning her household’s crazy antics into wholesome weekly content. 

Many of their 100K and counting subscribers see the singing duo as #relationshipgoals, and they used their Valentine’s Day episodes as a couples therapy session, dishing out what they dubbed “relation-tips” on creating a lasting union.

“We are not therapists, we are not marriage counsellors, we are just willing to share our experiences as best as we can, that’s our disclaimer,” Tami said before launching into the list of burning questions their fans submitted.

Here’s 7 takeaways from Tami & Wayne’s hour-long couple’s therapy.

1. ‘If ah you mi pick, ah you mi pick’

As with all relationships, they’ve had moments in their fifteen-year journey where they felt they wouldn’t make it. One user asked how they worked their way back from the edge, and Wayne cited the great responsibility he felt in maintaining the love and trust in their unit.

Tami gushed about his willingness to talk things through most times, to which he answered “if ah you mi pick, ah you mi pick”. “Sometimes, it’s not about the touchy, feely, huggy love all the time but it gets back around to that. “That’s the base of it, there’s nothing that we could never work through or sort through,” they said. This practical and level headed approach he says is in light of all they now have at stake especially their three young sons Jaxen, Atlas, and Oz. 

2. Take turns being your significant other’s support system.

“Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down for a three year period, sometimes you’re building the dream, life is like that,” Wayne said on weathering the inevitable storms. 

Adding to the ‘building’ metaphor, Tami said that sometimes even after the enjoyable part, the decorating and moving in, the house still needs more work. Wayne alluded to helping hands from outside in the form of therapy or sounding boards to mediate disagreements if necessary, and getting to a solution as quickly as possible.

3. Grow in the same direction as your partner.

“We always have a common goal in sight and we have a common way that we approach life, we have a similar we in which we like to parent, we have some key things that are aligned and that has really been a saving grace for us,” Tami said. 

The crooners have been together since their early 20’s, got married in 2009, and have joint business ventures in addition to their bustling household and itinerary.  

4. What do they consider a deal-breaker?

With so much riding on their fifteen-year union, the couple found it hard to pinpoint a  particular issue that could make them call it quits,  “I wanna say that obviously if there was some kind of infidelity that would be a deal breaker, but the truth is we don’t know that and we don’t know that because we haven’t lived it,” Tami quipped.

“As you get older you view things so differently and there’s lots of people who have survived infidelity. I’m not sure what would be a deal breaker.” Wayne echoed the sentiment saying, “It’s a delicate thing but I have so much invested in this, you don’t know until the situation presents itself”.

5. Be intentional about your one on one time together.

One of their followers asked how having children changed their marriage, and whether any struggles or difficulties occured. Children have always been in the picture for the pair, however, even while they dated, as Wayne has a son, Gio, from a previous relationship with Miss Jamaica World 2001, Regina Beavers. 

“We were blessed to see what each other was like as parents early on and we got to test drive that car about each other’s interactions and instincts when dealing with kids. “Children have enriched us, made us stronger, made us better communicators, has brought out sides of us that we didn’t expect to” Tami said. “It robs us of our personal one on time, and so it makes you more intentional about the focus that you have on each other,” said Wayne.

6. Learn to deal with conflict and recover quickly from arguments.

Ironically, the couple has a collab called Arguing from back in 2007, and it’s one of the notions they insist takes a great deal of work for any couple. 

“I used to get off and lose it and I had such a bad temper. It’s true,” Tami said, as Wayne laughed, adding she was once an “expert” at malice. They warned that explosive behaviour is a recipe for disaster. “We both used to be more explosive but now we are quicker to a solution. As you grow up and get in touch with yourself and who you are and who you would like to be, those things don’t work.”

7. What do they each value most about their relationship?

For Wayne, it’s “the family and the unit that we’ve built that has spawned from our relationship, the love, the unity and the joy,” while Tami stated it was their “ability to love and heal with love and bring people be it Momo or the MTM family into our fold.” 

Bonus Tip: “The greatest gift we’ve learned in the last 5 years is the gift of allowing each other to be who each other is, and figuring out what that looks like,” Tami added. It’s allowing each other to find our own path and realizing we’re not responsible for each other’s happiness, we could just add to it. Realizing that our individual happiness, wellness mattered even more than when we were together.”

Views for the Valentine’s episodes are almost at 50K owing no doubt to their affectionate, devoted dynamic on and off-camera. 

 “I’m really glad people are getting a chance to see how we operate. It’s not without its faults or our own quarrels, squabbles, and disagreements, but we work through things and we have been for as many years as we have been together. I detach myself from hashtags like supermom and marriage goals – no thanks. Hopefully, we create some guidance for people,” Tami told the Gleaner last year.